Goals for 2012

Last year around this time I compiled a wish list of things I wanted for 2011. Now it's time to take a hard look at what I can cross off that list and write down what I have in mind for 2012! 


For 2011 I wish for the following:

* a new job that I love (obvs)
* lose the 15 wife pounds I gained since June '09
* financial planning for long-term goals
* do a mini reno on our bathroom
* get a four-legged member of the family
* learn how to do some landscaping in the spring
* finally buy my DSLR that I've been lusting over for years
* perfect a meal planning regimen and incorporate freeze ahead meals
* do a few more out-of-town trips
* focus on my pre-baby checklist


Oh gee. That's not a very good success rate. Looks like I'll have some carryover goals, huh? 


Here goes. Wish list for 2012:

* lose 15 pounds before TTC
* focus on long-term finances
* mini-reno on bathroom
* landscaping (either by me or hired out!)
* return to meal planning and less eating out
* become more organized both personally and professionally
* TTC
* be a more supportive and caring friend and wife
* kick major a$$ in my career


Happy New Year, everyone!! 

Lemonade

A year ago today I went through one of life's game changers when I was laid off from job I had for only four months. I remember that day so vividly, especially the many tears I shed that evening. I drove home through tears on that Friday, my mind racing with disbelief, fear, and anxiety. I remember parking in the garage and seeing my husband on his way to the gym and shrieking "I lost my job! What are we going to do??" An hour later, still with tears falling, I furiously scanned job listings online and quickly updated my resume and LinkedIn. I went through a very long three months of being unemployed.

I wrote a post last year called "When Life Gives You Lemons," where I divulged my layoff and opted to forge on and reassess my life and my future.

Oh how much has changed in a year! I've been at my job now for 9 months -- and I received my first promotion this week. I can't even call it a job -- it's my career. It's my perfect fit. So many people told me last year that something better was yet to come, and they were sooo on the money. When I compare the me today to the me a year ago I am absolutely shocked at the stark difference. Life gave me lemons last December 3, but  the lemonade couldn't be sweeter.

30, Flirty and Thriving

In the months leading up to my 30th birthday, I ran through a million emotions. Most of them negative. I firmly believed that my life was practically over; once you turn 30, you may as well have one foot in the grove, right? Adios, youth. It’s been real.

Thirty seemed so terrifying because in my mind and heart I feel like a child. At least once a day something happens that leads me to ask myself, “Who let me be a grown up? Have a house? A career? A husband? I’m not ready! Wasn’t it yesterday I was filling my days with school, Girl Scouts, and marathon telephone conversations with girlfriends?”

But 30 came and went. It was all pretty underwhelming. Other than that daunting number flashing into my brain like a neon sign, nothing else seemed to change. 

But it did.

Women in their 40s reassured me that their 30s were the best decade. Now I know what that means -- and I’m only two months in.

With 30 comes a sense of security and confidence. Up until this point I was always unsure, never quite knowing how to act, how to respond, how to complete daily life tasks. I’ve let fear and anxiety dictate my path in life.

I was involved in a car accident last week, in a strange city four states away from my husband. I was the one to act quickly and with a cool head. I assessed the situation, soothed my hysterical sister-in-law, made sure my shell-shocked mother-in-law and nephew were physically okay, reassured my brother-in-law via phone that we were all in one piece. I went through an action plan with the cops and medics to arrange our transportation back home. In retelling the story to my friend, it hit me that 20 year old Amy, even 25 year old Amy, would have crumbled into a crying mess. At what point did I turn into … an adult who knew what to do?

There’s been some inner bravery and confidence running through me that I never knew existed. I walk with a purpose. I stare problems in the eye. My critical, analytical skills have increased. I can expertly deal with anyone who crosses my path, no matter how difficult they may be. I know my flaws (both internal and external), but I chose to embrace or correct, not dwell in it like I did in my youth.

If this is a side effect of aging, then sign me up. If I can be this awesome at 30, I can’t wait until 40. (Okay, maybe 35.) 

And to my dear friend Colette, who turned the big 2-8 today, chin up. It just gets better from here. 

The Life of a Lady of Leisure

An update for my adoring fans...er, blog readers:

I'm in my third week of my "laycation" now, though it's starting to lose its vacation aspect quick. Last week I interviewed for a position I really wanted only to be rejected yesterday. I would be lying if I said I've been taking the bad news well. But as I've been a witness to recently, sometimes things just suck and there's not much you can do other than down a glass of sangria and try to move on.

Now that my laycation is looking a little more long-term than I wanted, finding achievable goals is more important than ever. The job searching happens on a repetitive basis all day long. I've finished all my Christmas tasks in record speed. I bake a lot.

I wear (mostly) clean house pants and slippers.  And I've determined that SNL's parody of the Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb hour of The Today Show was decidedly en pointe.

I recruited the help of some friends to help me figure out how I can fill my days. They have given me some great ideas so that I have a purpose in waking up before Ellen begins; one of these is paying more attention to my blog, so I re-vamped my blog layout (again!) and created another header. I also dabbled in some CSS coding, which I've successfully avoided til now.

Also on the list are re-doing my guest room (completely DIY and budget), trying new recipes, developing some marketing strategies for my 'midnight hustle', POSSIBLY even going back to the gym, and finally organizing my crazy closets. Goals. I haz 'em. I'm open to any and all suggestions, so leave a comment below. I'll obviously read it, because really -- time is not something I'm lacking these days  ; )

Evolution

While going through some old pics, I happened upon one of the first pictures of me with two of my best friends from 11 years ago at my sister's wedding. For some reason this sparked my imagination to create a quick collage of the three of us (Triple A) over the last decade to email to them.  I'm all about before and afters and "my, look how they've changed/aged/declined/etc" comparisons. Naturally, creating these little collages is right up my alley.

Anyway, after finishing my little project, I stared at it for a little bit, contemplating my own personal aging and look. Simply coincidental that the first and last (2009) pics are both from weddings - my sister's and my own -- just FYI. I must admit I was pleased that I'm not 'declining.' While some people are at their peak of their looks at age 17-18, I was a freakin' mess. The dress was my sister's old formal dress from the previous year, weird grimace, wretched straight bangs.... gah. In 2004 you see a much plumper and rounder Amy -- but at least the hair was 85% improved. 2006 still brings the chubby, but you'll note I wasn't afraid of the smoky eye. Finally I seem to have it mostly together in 2009. I could attribute this to an expensive dress and pro hair, but for now, I'm going to bask in the fact that I'm not declining. I'm like a fine wine getting better with age! Or perhaps I've hit my peak at 28, and it's downhill from here. Either way, I need to roll with it and start appreciating myself. It's been a long time coming.

I don't get it.

While hanging out with friends last night, discussion turned to talk about some acquanitances who were recently married. Apparently this couple "changed" quite drastically in personality once married -- they're more serious, less likely to laugh at jokes, don't hang out with their friends often. This isn't the first time I've heard this scenario. It's happened to others we know. Sadly, my husband voiced concern before our marriage that I would change, becoming some nasty shrew.

But I just can't wrap my mind around this phenomenon. How does exchanging vows and rings change one's personality??  There isn't anything in the "code of marriage" that flips a mental switch in the bride and groom. Yeah, I get that *something* changes -- I feel a little more mature, or at least that I *should* be anyway. But I'm me. My husband is still himself. We're the same people we were when we met six years ago.

It's making me feel a lot more self-conscious of how our single friends perceive us now, like they're watching for any noticeable change in us now that we're legally binded. If anyone can explain this phenomenon, or has a similar story, leave a comment.

Freshman 15. . . again?!

I'm becoming another statistic. According to a study by someone smart at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center, it's common for newlyweds to gain up to 10 pounds after tying the knot. I think I'm diving headfirst into making that a reality in record time. Without a dress to think about fitting into, the motivation to slim down or at least maintain a healthy-ish weight is dwindling. I have hopes of returning to my gym, yet I'm too jiggly to show my face there. Yes, I feel too chubby to get my ass back on the treadmill. Ironic, huh?

Unlike the past two years I've shown little care as to what I shove in my mouth, calories and carbs be damned. When will it stop?! At what point will acquaintances think to themselves, "Wow, Amy sure let herself go after she got married." It's not like I don't know HOW to lose -- see below picture; I just refuse to put down the ice cream and pick up a banana.